“YOU TURNED MY EIGHT-HUNDRED-DOLLAR HAIR INTO A KINDERGARTEN CRAFT PROJECT!”
That was what a furious young woman shouted at me in the middle of a crowded airplane, thirty-five thousand feet above the ground. Her expensive blonde extensions were tangled with pink-and-purple glitter slime, one hand was covered in sticky strands, and dozens of passengers were staring in disbelief.
I’m Martha Delaney, a seventy-three-year-old widow, retired school librarian, and grandmother of four. I’d boarded that flight hoping to enjoy a peaceful visit with my family. Instead, I somehow became the center of an airplane drama that would eventually attract hundreds of thousands of views online.
And the most surprising part? By the time we landed, the young woman who’d been yelling at me was crying for an entirely different reason.
But to understand what happened, I need to start two hours earlier, with a birthday present for my granddaughter.
My granddaughter Emily was turning ten, and she lived in Phoenix with my daughter Joanne, her husband, and three energetic older brothers. Emily was the youngest and the only girl, which meant she had become very skilled at making herself heard in a house full of noisy boys.
Three weeks before her birthday, I asked what she wanted.
“Grandma,” she announced seriously, “there’s only one thing I want in the whole world.”
“And what’s that, sweetheart?”
“Galaxy Unicorn Mega Slime.”
I wrote the name down, although I had absolutely no idea what it meant.
Emily explained that it was a stretchy purple-and-pink slime filled with glitter and tiny stars. According to a video she’d watched, it could stretch almost four feet across a kitchen.
I didn’t understand the appeal, but I understood that my granddaughter wanted it desperately.
Unfortunately, the toy was sold out almost everywhere. Joanne couldn’t find it, my church friends had no luck, and my attempts at online shopping ended in frustration.
Then Emily’s oldest brother sent me a message. Apparently, a small shop at the airport had a few tubs left.
So, on the morning of my flight, I arrived early and headed straight for the store.
There it was, sitting on a shelf between stuffed airplanes and coloring books.
Galaxy Unicorn Mega Slime.
I picked up one enormous glittery tub and carried it to the register as though I’d discovered a priceless treasure.
Unfortunately, the checkout line wasn’t moving.
And the reason was standing directly in front of me.
She was a young woman, perhaps twenty-eight, with incredibly long, shiny blonde hair that reached almost to her knees. She wore fashionable clothes, carried an expensive-looking handbag, and was holding her phone at arm’s length.
Her phone case displayed the name BRITTANY in sparkling rhinestones.
“Okay, guys,” she said to her camera. “Which perfume should I get? This one or this one?”
She lifted two pink bottles toward the screen while the cashier patiently waited.
“Ma’am, are you ready to pay?” he asked.
“One second. My followers are deciding.”
At seventy-three, I’d learned that one second could apparently mean several minutes.
Eventually, Brittany purchased both perfumes. Then she opened a tester and sprayed herself generously.
The fragrance reached me almost immediately.
It was overwhelmingly sweet.
“Excuse me, dear,” I said politely. “That’s quite a strong perfume.”
Brittany glanced over her shoulder.
“It’s French.”
“I don’t think the French intended us to taste it.”
The cashier covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.
Brittany rolled her eyes and turned back toward her phone.
Then she swept her enormous blonde hair over her shoulder.
Unfortunately, it landed directly across my face.
“Careful, sweetheart,” I said. “Your hair just hit me.”
“Then don’t stand so close.”
“I’m standing in line.”
“Personal space is still a thing.”
I stepped backward, nearly bumping into the gentleman behind me.
A moment later, Brittany turned again, and her hair swept across my hands.
“Does your hair always require this much room?” I asked.
She sighed dramatically.
“It’s called volume.”
“Well, I thought Cousin Itt had finally discovered conditioner.”
The cashier burst into laughter.
Brittany gave me an irritated look, collected her purchases, and marched away.
Before leaving, she turned around one last time.
“Maybe you’re just jealous.”
“Of the perfume? Not particularly.”
I finally paid for Emily’s slime and carefully tucked it into my large brown handbag.
As I headed toward my gate, I was certain of two things: I would never see Brittany again, and my granddaughter’s present would arrive safely in Phoenix.
I was wrong about both.
I’ve never enjoyed flying. My late husband, Eddie, used to reassure me that airplanes were perfectly safe, but I remained nervous every time we traveled.
We’d been married forty-six years before he passed away four years earlier.
Whenever we flew together, Eddie held my hand during takeoff. He always waited until the seatbelt sign went off before letting go.
This was my first flight completely alone since losing him.
I hadn’t told my children how anxious I felt. I wanted to prove to myself that I could manage.
But when I reached Gate B14, my hands were already trembling slightly.
Then I spotted Brittany.
She was sitting near a charging station, talking excitedly to her phone about her upcoming trip to Phoenix.
Apparently, we were taking the same flight.
When boarding began, I made my way toward row twenty-four, carrying my handbag and a small suitcase.
An older gentleman with silver hair and a neatly trimmed white mustache was struggling to lift his bag into the overhead compartment.
Just then, Brittany hurried down the aisle while filming herself.
She turned abruptly.
Her long extensions swept across the gentleman’s face, knocking his glasses sideways and causing him to lose his grip on his luggage.
I instinctively reached forward and helped steady the bag.
“Thank you,” he said, retrieving his glasses. “I believe I’ve just been attacked by a shampoo commercial.”
I couldn’t help laughing.
He introduced himself as Harold, a retired history professor.
I introduced myself, and we discovered we were seated in the same row.
Harold occupied the aisle seat, while mine was beside the window.
The middle seat was empty.
Then Brittany appeared again.
She settled into the window seat directly in front of me.
When she turned around and recognized my face, she groaned.
“Oh my God. Not you again.”
“What a small world,” I replied.
“Are you following me?”
“No, dear. Your perfume arrived first.”