My dearest Emma,
I stopped breathing.
Jack always called me Emma when he wanted to remind me that, before I became his wife and the mother of his children, I was simply the girl he had fallen in love with.
My eyes immediately filled with tears.
I kept reading.
“If you’re reading this, then I didn’t get the chance to tell you everything myself.
And I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for every question you’re going to have. I’m sorry for every night you’ll spend wondering why I kept things from you.
But please, before you hate me, let me explain.
The woman standing in front of you is not my mistress.
She is the reason I have been able to leave something behind for you and the children.”
I looked up.
The woman lowered her eyes.
My heart was pounding.
I continued.
“When the doctors told me there was nothing more they could do, I realized something terrible.
I wasn’t afraid of dying.
I was afraid of what would happen to you after I was gone.
You had already sold your jewelry. You had borrowed money against the house. You spent everything you had trying to save me.
And I knew that when I died, you would blame yourself for every dollar.
You would look at the bills and wonder how you were going to raise our children.
So I made a decision.
I had to do something without telling you.
Because if I told you, you would have refused.”
I covered my mouth.
That was exactly what I would have done.
If Jack had told me he wanted to leave treatment money untouched for us, I would have argued with him.
I would have told him every dollar belonged to keeping him alive.
The next paragraph made my heart stop.
“Emma, do you remember the summer after we graduated? You wanted to go to college, but your father lost his job. You were going to give up your place.
I told you I would find a way.
You thought I meant I would work extra hours.
I didn’t.
I sold something.”
I frowned.
I had never understood what he meant whenever he talked about that summer.
I kept reading.
“Before we met, my father had left me something.
Not money.
Something much more valuable.
He had placed ownership of a small property into my name.
I never told you because I didn’t want that property to become part of our marriage. I wanted one thing in my life that came from the family I lost.
But when I knew I was dying, I realized that keeping it for myself made no sense.
So I sold it.”
My fingers tightened around the paper.
That was when I heard the woman quietly say:
“There’s more.”
I looked at her.
She nodded toward the letter.
“Please keep reading.”
I did.
“The woman you’re looking at helped me.”
My eyes moved toward her again.
She was crying now.
“Her name is Clara.
She works with a legal foundation that helps terminally ill people protect their families from financial ruin.
I met her shortly after my diagnosis.
At first, she helped me understand our insurance, the mortgage, the debts, and the things I could legally arrange before I died.
Then I asked her a question.
I asked her if there was any way I could make sure you and the children would have a home after I was gone.
She told me there was.
But it required something I didn’t want you to know about.
So I asked her to keep everything secret.
Please don’t blame her.
I made her promise.
She only did what I asked.”
I lowered the letter.
I couldn’t speak.
For weeks, I had imagined another woman sitting beside my dying husband.
I had imagined betrayal.
Secrets.
A double life.
Instead, Jack had been sitting in that hospital room trying to protect us.
But there was still something I didn’t understand.
I looked at Clara.
“Then why the sweater?”
She gave a sad little smile.
“I was there almost every day near the end,” she said. “Your husband was often cold. One evening, he asked me to bring him something warm. I left my sweater in the room.”
I stared at her.
“And you never told me?”
“He asked me not to.”
“Why?”
“Because he knew you would ask questions.”
My eyes filled again.
“He knew me that well?”
Clara nodded.
“He told me you would spend every minute wondering who I was.”
I laughed bitterly through my tears.
“He was right.”
“He also said something else.”
“What?”
Clara looked directly into my eyes.
“He said, ‘When she finds out, she’ll probably be angry before she’s grateful.’”