Before Billy could answer, I heard footsteps.
Sophie stood in the doorway.
Her face had gone pale.
“Dad, did she find out?”
Billy turned around.
“Sweetheart, it’s okay.”
Sophie burst into tears.
“Dad, please. You said it was our secret.”
“What do you mean by that, Sophie?”
Billy walked toward her.
“Hey. It’s going to be okay.”
“No, it won’t!” she shouted.
“Sophie, what are you talking about?”
She looked at me, her whole face sad and her eyes full of tears.
“You’ll make us stop seeing each other.”
“Stop seeing who? The little girl?”
Billy put an arm around her.
“Alice, there’s something I need to explain.”
“Please, just start explaining already. This is too much.”
Sophie grabbed his sleeve.
She looked terrified.
Then she said, “Dad said if Mom finds out the truth, she’ll never let me see her again.”
That hurt more than anything Billy had said so far.
My husband had convinced our eight-year-old daughter that telling me the truth was dangerous.
I crouched in front of her.
“Sophie, look at me.”
She shook her head.
“Please, Mom. Don’t separate us.”
“Your dad told you I would stop you from seeing this little girl?”
“It’s our secret.”
Billy looked ashamed.
“Who is she?” I asked.
He took a breath.
“Her name is Emma.”
“And who is Emma to you? To our daughter?”
“My other daughter.”
Even though I had suspected it, hearing the words still hit me hard.
“My goodness,” I gasped.
Sophie started crying harder.
I looked at her.
“Emma is your sister?”
She nodded.
“My half-sister.”
I had to sit down as questions flooded my mind.
How had this happened?
Billy moved closer.
“Please let me explain.”
“How old is she?”
“She’s 10.”
Billy and I had been married for nine years.
I felt physically sick.
Had he hidden this from me since before we got married?
Billy seemed to read my thoughts and immediately began explaining.
“Emma was conceived before you and I got together.”
He continued quickly.
“Her mother is Danielle. We dated for a few months. It was nothing serious.”
After everything I had just learned, believing him was becoming difficult.
“She got a job in another state and moved. At that time, she was pregnant but didn’t know yet.”
Billy rubbed his hands together.
“She found out after she moved, and by then, I’d already met you.”
My mind moved backward through my life with Billy.
Our first apartment.
Our engagement.
Our wedding.
Sophie being born.
Suddenly, all of it seemed to have a shadow behind it.
“And you have kept this from me for years?”
“No, I only learned about Emma a year ago.”
“Why didn’t she tell you about her back then? Why now?”
“She said that she found out I was with you. She told herself it would be easier not to interfere.”
I laughed bitterly.
“Easier for whom?”
“I don’t know. Her? Emma? I was angry and confused when I found out too.”
“So when did she tell you?”
“A year ago.”
That stunned me almost as much as everything else.
“You’ve kept this away from me for a year? Why would you do that?”
“When Danielle moved back to town, she contacted me.”
“And for an entire year, you’ve known you have another daughter.”
“Yes. I was still trying to process it all, but then time just kept moving.”
“How long has Sophie known?”
“Four months.”
Of course.
The payments.
I looked back at Billy.
