Two weeks after our divorce, my ex-husband grabbed my wrist in a grocery store and yelled for security. \u201cGet her out. She doesn\u2019t belong here.\u201d His new girlfriend laughed behind her hand. \u201cLet go, Dane,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
It happened at the new Heartland Fresh store in Mount Vernon. I had my good blue cardigan on and my appointment written on a card in my purse. Dane had a sample case of potato chips tucked under one arm. He\u2019d come hoping to catch the vice president. I\u2019d come because the store had made room for my pepper jelly.<\/p>\n
For fifty-two years, I kept Dane\u2019s sales books at our kitchen table every Sunday night. He sold potato chips and pretzels to little groceries in southern Illinois, and I added up his routes. He called me his secretary. I thought it was sweet then. I\u2019m not proud of how long I let that be enough.<\/p>\n
I knew which stores were late with a payment and which shopkeepers wanted the invoices dropped off before lunch. If Dane brought home a receipt with a greasy thumbprint on it, I flattened it under the sugar bowl until I could enter the numbers. That was our routine. I believed we were building a life together, one account at a time.<\/p>\n
When I was fifty-seven, I won a blue ribbon at the county fair for my pepper jelly. I made it with hot peppers from our garden, apple juice, and cider vinegar, the way my mother taught me.<\/p>\n
People at the fair asked for jars. Then little stores started asking, too.<\/p>\n
Dane laughed when I told him. \u201cSue\u2019s got herself a kitchen hobby,\u201d he told his buddies at the co-op.<\/p>\n
I ordered labels with my own face on them. I was proud of that picture. My hair was pinned up, and I looked more serious than I felt. Dane found the box and threw it in the trash.<\/p>\n
\u201cQuit wasting money on stickers, Sue.\u201d<\/p>\n
After he went to bed, I fished the labels out. I wiped the coffee grounds off every single one and put them in my cedar chest. Then I bought plain labels to keep the peace. I can still see my hands working over the kitchen sink, trying not to let the paper tear.<\/p>\n
That was 2006. By last year, my jelly was in sixty stores. These days, a plant in Carbondale cooks it to my recipe, and I still drive down and taste every batch. Dane never once asked how it was going.<\/p>\n
I told myself I didn\u2019t mind. I minded. I liked hearing the people at the stores ask for my jelly by name, and I liked getting the calls when a shelf needed more jars. But at home I kept quiet. I knew what Dane thought of it.<\/p>\n
Last Christmas, he told me he was in love with a real estate lady named Tawny. \u201cI\u2019m seventy-four, Sue. I want to feel alive before I die.\u201d Tawny was fifty-five and wore more bracelets than a jewelry counter.<\/p>\n
He moved into her condo at the lake in January. I still had the grandkids\u2019 school pictures on my fridge, held up with little jelly-jar magnets. Some nights I\u2019d stand there looking at them so the kitchen wouldn\u2019t feel so empty.<\/p>\n
I was relieved when Dane left, and ashamed of how relieved I was. I didn\u2019t tell anybody that part. It seemed unkind, even though I was the one left sitting at the table where I\u2019d kept his books for half a century.<\/p>\n
Two weeks before the store opening, we signed the divorce papers. The lawyer\u2019s office smelled like burnt coffee. Dane wanted the bass boat, his truck, his pension, and half the farm money. I wanted what was mine and wanted the arguing to stop.<\/p>\n
His lawyer turned a page. \u201cAnd there\u2019s the matter of Mrs. Oberle\u2019s business.\u201d<\/p>\n
My contract with Heartland Fresh was stapled right behind it. Dane\u2019s own lawyer tapped the page. \u201cDane, you\u2019ll want to read this one.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dane laughed out loud. \u201cLet her keep her kitchen hobby. I\u2019ll take the boat.\u201d<\/p>\n
He signed without reading a word. He never did read anything I put in front of him. The agreement listed my jelly business as mine. Heartland had signed with me in September, and my product was going into every one of its stores in four states.<\/p>\n
My daughter knew about the deal. She was the only one in the family I\u2019d told before the papers were signed.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t tell Daddy, Mama. He\u2019ll just laugh at you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She said it because she knew him. I also knew the news would reach Dane sooner or later. The thought of him finding out in front of people made my stomach hurt, but I was tired of hiding every good thing I did to make him comfortable.<\/p>\n
The night before the opening, I sat up at two in the morning with my tea gone cold in my hands. If he found out in front of everybody, our girl might think I\u2019d set it up to embarrass him. Maybe I was just a proud old woman who wanted to be seen.<\/p>\n
I went anyway. It was my day. I\u2019d earned it one jar at a time.<\/p>\n
All week I\u2019d been setting up my display with Jerold, the store\u2019s security man. He was a big sweet boy who carried every box in for me and ended up with jelly on his thumb. I liked him right away. He called the jars \u201cthe good stuff\u201d and asked if the store would have them after opening day.<\/p>\n
Heartland opened its new store in Mount Vernon on Saturday morning. There was a balloon arch, the high school band, and free cookies. I parked in the back row and walked toward the doors in my blue cardigan.<\/p>\n
Dane was standing by the balloon arch with Tawny on his arm. He had a sample case of potato chips and the hopeful look he used to wear when a store owner might give him a new account.<\/p>\n
Tawny saw me first. \u201cOh, for heaven\u2019s sake. Is she following us?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have an appointment,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Dane laughed. \u201cAn appointment at a grocery store? You here to hand out samples of your kitchen hobby?\u201d<\/p>\n
People turned around. I could have told him the contract was signed. I could have told him the vice president knew me and that the jelly was going into four states. I didn\u2019t. I was done explaining myself to that man.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me by, Dane.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho invited you, the bag boy?\u201d Tawny said, laughing behind her hand.<\/p>\n
I looked at the gold watch on Dane\u2019s wrist. I bought it for him for our fiftieth anniversary, with jelly money. That little fact came to me right then, and I felt foolish for noticing it. I was angry, too.<\/p>\n
He grabbed my wrist. \u201cDon\u2019t you make a scene in front of these people.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re the one hollering, Dane. Let go of me now.\u201d<\/p>\n
He let go. Then he leaned close enough that I could smell the coffee he\u2019d had that morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cI paid your way for fifty-two years, Sue. Without me, you\u2019ll be in a nursing home inside a year.\u201d<\/p>\n
That hurt more than the grab. I just stood there for a second, looking at him. I had given him years of careful work and believed that counted as partnership. He\u2019d decided it counted as nothing.<\/p>\n
Jerold had been watching from the doors. He said something into his radio and walked over with the store manager. Dane pointed at me and hollered, \u201cSecurity, get her out. She doesn\u2019t belong here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jerold walked right past him and shook my hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, ma\u2019am. They\u2019re waiting on you up front.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tawny\u2019s mouth fell open. \u201cYou know her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverybody in this company knows her,\u201d the manager said.<\/p>\n
Dane laughed, but it came out thin. \u201cThere\u2019s some mistake. That\u2019s my ex-wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, sir,\u201d Jerold said. \u201cWe know exactly who she is.\u201d<\/p>\n
The vice president hurried out the doors in her red Heartland vest. \u201cSue, are you all right? Did somebody stop you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Dane knew her face. He\u2019d been trying for six years to get a meeting with her about his snack business. He stuck out his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cDane Oberle, Ozark Crunch Snacks, ma\u2019am. Real pleasure.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shook it briefly and turned back to me. \u201cReady?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReady.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSue, where do you think you\u2019re going?\u201d Dane called after me.<\/p>\n
\u201cTo work,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Just inside the doors stood something as tall as a man under a red Heartland cloth. Dane followed us in with Tawny, trying to look like he belonged. He wanted to be close when the vice president was done with me.<\/p>\n
She took the microphone, and the band stopped playing.<\/p>\n
\u201cFolks, twenty years ago, this lady made her first pepper jelly in a farm kitchen down the road.\u201d<\/p>\n
She took hold of the red cloth. Dane\u2019s grin started to slip.<\/p>\n
\u201cStarting today, it\u2019s in every Heartland store in four states,\u201d she said, \u201cand the face on every jar belongs to Sue Oberle.\u201d<\/p>\n
She pulled the cloth away. Beneath it was a tall display shaped like a jar, with the label enlarged across the front. My face looked back at me from the label. The old picture was there, the one I\u2019d first put on those labels years ago.<\/p>\n
For a second, I couldn\u2019t hear the band or the people. Then the shoppers began clapping. Jerold stood near the doors grinning, and the store manager put one hand on my shoulder. I looked at that face on the giant jar and felt the sting behind my eyes.<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t seen that old label in years. The ones I\u2019d saved in the cedar chest were still there, tucked under a folded tablecloth. The company had used the picture from the original design when it made the new labels. I\u2019d sent them the old artwork when they asked for it.<\/p>\n
Dane stared at the display. Tawny looked from the label to me, then back to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou said she was just coming to bother you,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t know this was what she was doing,\u201d Dane replied. His eyes were still on the label.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you I had an appointment,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou could have told me what this was,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
I felt my face get hot. I wanted to tell him I\u2019d tried to tell him years ago, and I wanted to say something mean enough to land. Instead, I said, \u201cYou never asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at the vice president, trying to pick up the conversation he\u2019d started at the entrance. \u201cI\u2019ve been trying to get a meeting with you for years. I brought samples.\u201d<\/p>\n
The vice president glanced at the case under his arm. \u201cYou did. Your buyers sent your information through, but we didn\u2019t set a meeting today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dane\u2019s expression changed. \u201cI thought this would be a good time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cToday is Sue\u2019s launch,\u201d she said. \u201cWe\u2019re here to celebrate her product.\u201d<\/p>\n
The reason he\u2019d come was right there in his hands. He hadn\u2019t come to support me. He\u2019d come to get his own chips in front of the woman who had spent years deciding what went on Heartland shelves. I knew that before he said it, but hearing him ask for a meeting while standing beside my face on that display made it plain.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was just trying to talk business,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
The store manager looked at my wrist. \u201cYou grabbed her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dane turned toward him. \u201cI let go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn\u2019t change what happened,\u201d Jerold said.<\/p>\n
Tawny folded her arms. \u201cYou told me she was following you. You said you were going to get your chance with the vice president.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dane snapped his eyes toward her. \u201cThis is between Sue and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Tawny said. \u201cYou brought me here to watch you get a meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n
The people around us had gone quiet. I wanted the floor to swallow me, and I hated that his outburst had turned my morning into a show. Still, I was glad Tawny had said it. It was not something I had made up.<\/p>\n
The vice president kept her voice even. \u201cDane, this isn\u2019t the time or place to pitch your product. The manager can help you take your samples back to your car.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dane looked at me, as if I could undo what he\u2019d done. \u201cYou\u2019re going to let them treat me like this?\u201d<\/p>\n
I said, \u201cYou asked security to get me out.\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer. The manager stood beside him, waiting. Dane took the sample case and walked toward the doors. Tawny followed a few steps behind him, her bracelets clicking together.<\/p>\n
I was angry enough that my hands were shaking. I was also embarrassed to be standing there while people watched. The vice president touched my arm and asked if I wanted a minute.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m all right,\u201d I said. \u201cLet\u2019s get started.\u201d<\/p>\n
The band picked up again. The manager introduced me, and I stood beside the display with the microphone in my hand. I talked about the peppers from our garden and my mother\u2019s recipe. I told them the plant in Carbondale cooked each batch to the same recipe, and I still tasted it before it went out.<\/p>\n
I thanked Jerold for carrying boxes and getting jelly on his thumb. He laughed, and the shoppers laughed with him. Then I held up a jar so the people in the front could see the label. My face was right there, clear and ordinary, without the coffee grounds.<\/p>\n
The vice president explained that Heartland had signed with me in September. She\u2019d met with me, tasted the jelly, and talked through how it would be supplied to the stores. She didn\u2019t make a speech about Dane. She didn\u2019t need to. The contract had already said what mattered.<\/p>\n
After the opening, the manager asked if I wanted him to write down what happened at the entrance. I said yes. Jerold had seen Dane grab my wrist, and the manager had been there when Dane shouted. I didn\u2019t want a scene, but I didn\u2019t want the story changed later either.<\/p>\n
Dane had spent years telling people my work was a hobby. I had let myself believe that if I stayed quiet, he might eventually be proud of me. I was done helping him make that version of the story sound true.<\/p>\n
My daughter called that afternoon. She\u2019d heard from someone who\u2019d been at the opening. She sounded worried.<\/p>\n
\u201cMama, did you do that to make Daddy look bad?\u201d<\/p>\n
I put the phone on speaker and sat down at the kitchen table. \u201cNo. I went to work. He chose what he said when he saw me.\u201d<\/p>\n
She was quiet for a moment. Then she said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you didn\u2019t mean to hurt me,\u201d I said. I did wish she\u2019d trusted me more, but I didn\u2019t say that. I had asked her to keep the deal quiet, and I knew that had put her in the middle.<\/p>\n
That evening, I called the lawyer who had handled the divorce papers. I wanted to be sure I understood what Dane had signed. The lawyer looked at the agreement and confirmed the business was listed as mine. Dane had chosen the boat, truck, pension, and his share of the farm money. He had signed the page with the business and the Heartland contract behind it.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes he get any part of the jelly business?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. It\u2019s listed as yours in the agreement.\u201d<\/p>\n
I thanked the lawyer and hung up. I\u2019d been worried Dane might try to claim he hadn\u2019t understood what he signed. He might still complain to people, but he couldn\u2019t turn his choice into mine.<\/p>\n
A few days later, he called. He said he hadn\u2019t meant to make me look bad. He said he thought I was trying to embarrass him by showing up at the same store where he was meeting the vice president.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wasn\u2019t meeting her,\u201d I said. \u201cYou told me you were trying to get a meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I could catch her there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou came to pitch your chips at my launch.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was a pause. \u201cYou could\u2019ve told me about the contract.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did. Your lawyer showed it to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
He started to say something about the divorce and the way the papers had been handled. I reminded him his own lawyer had pointed to the contract and told him to read it. Dane went quiet, then asked whether I had really bought his watch with jelly money.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t have anything to say to that. I hung up before I could say something I\u2019d regret.<\/p>\n
I was sad that fifty-two years had ended with him trying to push me out of a store where I belonged. I was also done letting him decide which parts of my life counted. The next week, I drove to Carbondale, tasted a batch, and told them it was ready.<\/p>\n
When I got home, the grandkids\u2019 school pictures were still on the fridge, held up by the little jelly-jar magnets. I put one new jar beneath them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Two weeks after our divorce, my ex-husband grabbed my wrist in a grocery store and yelled for security. \u201cGet her out. She doesn\u2019t belong here.\u201d … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21735,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-inspiration","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23337","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=23337"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23337\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23338,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23337\/revisions\/23338"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21735"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=23337"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=23337"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=23337"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}