Nine years later, she was sitting in my living room carrying my husband\u2019s child.<\/p>\n
And suddenly I understood something I hadn\u2019t allowed myself to understand before.<\/p>\n
The betrayal wasn\u2019t one thing.<\/p>\n
It was thousands of tiny things.<\/p>\n
Every birthday.<\/p>\n
Every Christmas.<\/p>\n
Every time she\u2019d hugged me.<\/p>\n
Every time she\u2019d asked me how Tanner was doing.<\/p>\n
Every time she\u2019d sat at my kitchen table and told me she loved me.<\/p>\n
Every time I\u2019d trusted her.<\/p>\n
Bree finally spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can explain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her voice was barely audible.<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I said quietly. \u201cYou can tell the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tanner stepped forward.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned toward him.<\/p>\n
He looked different now.<\/p>\n
Not because his face had changed.<\/p>\n
Because I wasn\u2019t looking at him through love anymore.<\/p>\n
I was looking at him through evidence.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t get to tell me when it\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stopped.<\/p>\n
My mother-in-law, Denise, was still standing near the hallway.<\/p>\n
She looked pale.<\/p>\n
She looked at the paperwork.<\/p>\n
Then she looked at Tanner.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it true?\u201d<\/p>\n
Tanner swallowed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it true?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
That was his answer.<\/p>\n
A woman near the dining table whispered something to another guest.<\/p>\n
Bree heard it.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease don\u2019t do this here.\u201d<\/p>\n
I almost laughed.<\/p>\n
Not because anything was funny.<\/p>\n
Because the sentence was so unbelievable.<\/p>\n
She had been sleeping with my husband.<\/p>\n
She had helped me decorate my own home for her baby shower.<\/p>\n
She had let me spend money on food, decorations, gifts, and favors.<\/p>\n
She had sat in my chair.<\/p>\n
And now she wanted privacy.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Bree looked relieved.<\/p>\n
Then I continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis shouldn\u2019t have happened here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her face fell.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis should have happened nine years ago, when you decided to cross a line you knew you could never uncross.\u201d<\/p>\n
She started crying again.<\/p>\n
Tanner walked toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we talk somewhere private?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
He lowered his voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re making a scene.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou made the scene.\u201d<\/p>\n
His jaw tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cI made mistakes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMistakes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t accidentally sleep with your wife\u2019s best friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked down.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t accidentally put your wife\u2019s money into a separate account.\u201d<\/p>\n
His eyes lifted.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t accidentally book hotel rooms.\u201d<\/p>\n
He said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you definitely don\u2019t accidentally put your full legal name on a pregnant woman\u2019s medical paperwork.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room went silent again.<\/p>\n
Bree\u2019s mother suddenly sat down.<\/p>\n
Her aunt was crying.<\/p>\n
My mother-in-law looked as if someone had physically struck her.<\/p>\n
She turned toward Bree.<\/p>\n
\u201cWere you sleeping with my son?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
Denise\u2019s voice became sharper.<\/p>\n
\u201cI asked you a question.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree whispered, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
A sound came from Denise that I had never heard before.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t anger.<\/p>\n
It was grief.<\/p>\n
She covered her mouth.<\/p>\n
Tanner closed his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Denise turned on him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew she was married to your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tanner didn\u2019t respond.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Denise stepped backward.<\/p>\n
She looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am so sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was the only thing I could say.<\/p>\n
Then Bree\u2019s mother stood.<\/p>\n
She looked at her daughter.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs the baby his?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree\u2019s face collapsed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
That sentence changed the room.<\/p>\n
Because until that moment, everyone had assumed.<\/p>\n
Now there was uncertainty.<\/p>\n
I looked at Tanner.<\/p>\n
He looked terrified.<\/p>\n
And for the first time that afternoon, I felt something other than betrayal.<\/p>\n
I felt curiosity.<\/p>\n
Because Rosalind had never told me to assume the baby was Tanner\u2019s.<\/p>\n
She had told me to document.<\/p>\n
To protect myself.<\/p>\n
To let the facts come out.<\/p>\n
And there was one fact I hadn\u2019t known.<\/p>\n
I had never asked who else Bree had been seeing.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t need to.<\/p>\n
The next voice came from the back of the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can answer that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone turned.<\/p>\n
A man stood near the front door.<\/p>\n
I had never seen him before.<\/p>\n
Bree froze.<\/p>\n
Tanner\u2019s face went completely white.<\/p>\n
The man looked at Bree.<\/p>\n
Then at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy name is Marcus.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree whispered his name.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Marcus gave a humorless laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you told me this baby was mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nobody moved.<\/p>\n
Tanner stared at him.<\/p>\n
Marcus continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told me your husband didn\u2019t know. You told me you were leaving him. You told me you needed time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree\u2019s mother covered her face.<\/p>\n
I looked at Bree.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told him the baby was his?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree couldn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
Marcus reached into his coat.<\/p>\n
He pulled out a folded envelope.<\/p>\n
\u201cI brought these because I was tired of being lied to.\u201d<\/p>\n
He placed several photographs on the gift table.<\/p>\n
Ultrasound pictures.<\/p>\n
Messages.<\/p>\n
Hotel receipts.<\/p>\n
And one photograph of Bree and Marcus together.<\/p>\n
Tanner stared at the photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou slept with him too?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree sobbed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t know what I was doing.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
She raised her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew exactly what you were doing. You just kept hoping nobody would make you face it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bree broke down.<\/p>\n
Marcus looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t owe me anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I was the father.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou might still be.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then he looked at Tanner.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut if you are, you should know something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tanner frowned.<\/p>\n
Marcus pulled out another piece of paper.<\/p>\n
\u201cBree told me you were leaving your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tanner stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said the divorce was already happening.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at Tanner.<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t look at me.<\/p>\n
Instead, he whispered, \u201cI was going to.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt something inside me go completely still.<\/p>\n
\u201cWere you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n
He hesitated.<\/p>\n
\u201cSoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter what?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter the baby was born?\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter you moved money?\u201d<\/p>\n
Still silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter you figured out which house you wanted?\u201d<\/p>\n
His face changed.<\/p>\n
That was when I knew.<\/p>\n
There had been another plan.<\/p>\n
A bigger one.<\/p>\n
I turned toward the hallway.<\/p>\n
\u201cEveryone needs to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nobody argued.<\/p>\n
People gathered purses and coats.<\/p>\n
Nobody knew where to look.<\/p>\n
The baby shower gifts remained stacked around the room.<\/p>\n
Pink and blue wrapping paper.<\/p>\n
Tiny diapers.<\/p>\n
Blankets.<\/p>\n
Stuffed animals.<\/p>\n
A mountain of innocence surrounding the ugliest secret of my marriage.<\/p>\n
My mother-in-law came to me before she left.<\/p>\n
She held my hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cI should have seen something.\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou weren\u2019t married to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
She started crying.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re still my daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
Not because I didn\u2019t believe her.<\/p>\n
Because I didn\u2019t know what anything meant anymore.<\/p>\n
After everyone left, only four people remained.<\/p>\n
Me.<\/p>\n
Tanner.<\/p>\n
Bree.<\/p>\n
And Marcus.<\/p>\n
I stood in the center of my living room.<\/p>\n
The slideshow screen was still frozen on the clinic paperwork.<\/p>\n
I finally picked up the remote.<\/p>\n
The screen went black.<\/p>\n
Then I said something I had been waiting six weeks to say.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow we can talk.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tanner sat down.<\/p>\n
Bree remained standing.<\/p>\n
Marcus moved toward the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to stay,\u201d I told him.<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
He paused.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you need anything\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
I almost smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
He left.<\/p>\n
The door closed.<\/p>\n
Bree looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI never wanted to hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat might be the saddest thing you\u2019ve said all day.\u201d<\/p>\n
She cried harder.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were my best friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI loved you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI still do.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn\u2019t make what you did disappear.\u201d<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
Tanner finally spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you too.\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned toward him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou loved having me.\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t respond.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou loved coming home to someone who trusted you. You loved having a clean house. You loved having dinner. You loved having someone who supported your career. You loved having someone who believed you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stepped closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut loving me would have required protecting me from the one thing you knew would destroy me.\u201d<\/p>\n
His eyes filled with tears.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was weak.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is not an excuse.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was confused.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat isn\u2019t an excuse either.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI made a terrible decision.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou made hundreds.\u201d<\/p>\n
He lowered his head.<\/p>\n
I pointed toward the envelope.<\/p>\n
\u201cRosalind has everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
His face tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe filed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we stop it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can fix this.\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t fix what you did. You can only decide what kind of person you\u2019re going to be after doing it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me for a long time.<\/p>\n
Then he asked the question I had been expecting.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you divorcing me?\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked around the room.<\/p>\n
At the decorations.<\/p>\n
At the empty chairs.<\/p>\n
At the tiny knitted hat.<\/p>\n
At the place where my best friend had sat.<\/p>\n
Then I looked back at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
His face crumpled.<\/p>\n
But I didn\u2019t comfort him.<\/p>\n
Not this time.<\/p>\n
I had spent six weeks protecting everyone else\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n
Now I was going to protect mine.<\/p>\n
Tanner stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll leave tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not throwing you out tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I don\u2019t want a scene.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
I continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can sleep in the guest room until Rosalind tells me what happens next.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re being so calm.\u201d<\/p>\n
I almost smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not calm.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m finished.\u201d<\/p>\n
That night, I slept alone.<\/p>\n
Or at least I tried to.<\/p>\n
At 3:17 a.m., I heard the guest-room door open.<\/p>\n
Footsteps.<\/p>\n
Then silence.<\/p>\n
A few seconds later, Tanner knocked softly on my bedroom door.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
He knocked again.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I say one thing?\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at the ceiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
He waited.<\/p>\n
Then he said something that made my heart stop.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t start sleeping with Bree because I wanted a family with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
I sat up.<\/p>\n
He continued through the closed door.<\/p>\n
\u201cI started because I thought you couldn\u2019t have children.\u201d<\/p>\n
My chest tightened.<\/p>\n
I opened the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you couldn\u2019t have children.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
He swallowed.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause of the test.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat test?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked frightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cI found something in your medical records.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did you find?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer immediately.<\/p>\n
Then he whispered:<\/p>\n
\u201cThe fertility report from three years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n
My blood went cold.<\/p>\n
Because I knew exactly what report he was talking about.<\/p>\n
And I had never shown it to him.<\/p>\n
Not once.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you get that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Tanner looked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI found it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked back.<\/p>\n
\u201cI did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t find it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou took it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
I stepped backward.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the affair wasn\u2019t the only thing I was afraid of.<\/p>\n
There was something else.<\/p>\n
Something Tanner had known about me.<\/p>\n
Something I had never told him.<\/p>\n
And something he had apparently been planning around for years.<\/p>\n
I closed the door.<\/p>\n
This time, I locked it.<\/p>\n
Then I reached for my phone.<\/p>\n
I called Rosalind.<\/p>\n
She answered on the fourth ring.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you safe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
I whispered:<\/p>\n
\u201cRosalind, I think we\u2019ve been looking at the wrong betrayal.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was a pause.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think Tanner has known something about my medical history for years.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSomething you didn\u2019t tell him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen don\u2019t ask him anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n
My hand tightened around the phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause if he accessed your records without permission, that changes things.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at the locked bedroom door.<\/p>\n
\u201cRosalind\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think he may have been planning to leave me long before Bree got pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her voice became very quiet.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen tomorrow morning, we\u2019re going to find out exactly how long.\u201d<\/p>\n
And for the first time since I saw that clinic paperwork, I realized something terrifying.<\/p>\n
The affair might not have been the beginning.<\/p>\n
It might have been the middle.<\/p>\n
And whatever came before it was waiting for me in a file I had never opened.<\/p>\n
At 8:06 the next morning, Rosalind was sitting across from me at her office with three folders open on the table.<\/p>\n
She had brought coffee.<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t touched mine.<\/p>\n
My hands were shaking too badly.<\/p>\n
\u201cStart at the beginning,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
So I did.<\/p>\n
I told her what Tanner had said through my bedroom door.<\/p>\n
I told her about the fertility report.<\/p>\n
I told her that I had never shown it to him.<\/p>\n
And then I told her something I had almost forgotten.<\/p>\n
Three years earlier, Tanner and I had talked about having another child.<\/p>\n
We had been married for six years at the time.<\/p>\n
We had tried for almost a year.<\/p>\n
Nothing happened.<\/p>\n
Eventually, I went to a specialist.<\/p>\n
The doctor ran tests.<\/p>\n
One of those tests showed that I had a condition that could make pregnancy difficult.<\/p>\n
Not impossible.<\/p>\n
Difficult.<\/p>\n
The doctor had been very clear about that distinction.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is a chance,\u201d she had told me. \u201cIt may take longer, and if you decide you want to pursue treatment, we can discuss your options.\u201d<\/p>\n
I remember coming home that night.<\/p>\n
I remember sitting on the kitchen floor.<\/p>\n
And I remember Tanner holding me.<\/p>\n
He told me that whether we had children or not, I was enough.<\/p>\n
That night, he promised me he would never make me feel like less of a woman because my body wasn\u2019t cooperating with our plans.<\/p>\n
I believed him.<\/p>\n
Rosalind listened without interrupting.<\/p>\n
Then she asked:<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you ever give him permission to access your medical records?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you leave the report somewhere he could easily find it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWas it in a patient portal?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid he have your password?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid anyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
Rosalind leaned back.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen we have another issue.\u201d<\/p>\n
She opened a notebook.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow tell me about the money.\u201d<\/p>\n
I told her everything I knew.<\/p>\n
The transfer from our joint account.<\/p>\n
The hotel charges.<\/p>\n
The unusual withdrawals.<\/p>\n
The separate account I hadn\u2019t known existed.<\/p>\n
Rosalind had already obtained some records through the legal process.<\/p>\n
She placed them in front of me.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook at this.\u201d<\/p>\n
I did.<\/p>\n
My stomach dropped.<\/p>\n
The transfers hadn\u2019t started six weeks ago.<\/p>\n
They had started two years and eight months earlier.<\/p>\n
Almost exactly three months after my fertility diagnosis.<\/p>\n
I stared at the dates.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosalind nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was saving money?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is what we\u2019re going to find out.\u201d<\/p>\n
She handed me another sheet.<\/p>\n
There were payments to an accountant.<\/p>\n
Then a storage facility.<\/p>\n
Then a property management company.<\/p>\n
Then something called Rowe Consulting.<\/p>\n
I stared at the last name.<\/p>\n
\u201cRowe?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosalind nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes that name mean anything?\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt a chill move through me.<\/p>\n
\u201cBree\u2019s mother\u2019s maiden name is Rowe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosalind looked at me.<\/p>\n
Neither of us spoke.<\/p>\n
Then she asked:<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes Bree have a brother?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s his name?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCaleb.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosalind slowly closed the folder.<\/p>\n
\u201cInteresting.\u201d<\/p>\n
My phone buzzed.<\/p>\n
It was a message from Tanner.<\/p>\n
Can we talk? I want to explain everything.<\/strong><\/p>\n I stared at the screen.<\/p>\n Then another message appeared.<\/p>\n Please don\u2019t let Rosalind destroy our marriage before you hear me.<\/strong><\/p>\n I showed it to Rosalind.<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t react.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want to hear him?\u201d<\/p>\n I thought about it.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut not alone.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n That afternoon, Tanner came to Rosalind\u2019s office.<\/p>\n He looked exhausted.<\/p>\n His beard had grown in.<\/p>\n His shirt was wrinkled.<\/p>\n He looked like a man who had finally discovered that consequences were real.<\/p>\n He sat across from me.<\/p>\n For several seconds, nobody spoke.<\/p>\n Then he looked at me.<\/p>\n \u201cI lied to you.\u201d<\/p>\n I said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve lied to you for years.\u201d<\/p>\n Still nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cI want to tell you why.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n He took a breath.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you got the fertility results, I was scared.\u201d<\/p>\n I stared at him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou told me you loved me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou told me we\u2019d be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI believed we\u2019d be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen why did you start stealing money?\u201d<\/p>\n His eyes dropped.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I thought I was going to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n There it was.<\/p>\n The sentence that had been hiding underneath everything.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I wanted children.\u201d<\/p>\n I felt something break inside me.<\/p>\n \u201cYou could have told me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was afraid.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou could have asked me about treatment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was afraid you\u2019d think I was blaming you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou could have divorced me honestly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t want to lose everything.\u201d<\/p>\n I stared at him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n He rubbed his hands together.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t want to lose the house. The business. The lifestyle. My relationship with my family.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo you decided to keep me while planning your exit.\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n His voice was barely audible.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n For years, I had thought betrayal began when someone crossed a physical boundary.<\/p>\n I realized then that betrayal often began much earlier.<\/p>\n It began when someone stopped treating you like a person whose life mattered.<\/p>\n Tanner continued.<\/p>\n \u201cI met Bree before anything happened.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe knew about the fertility situation.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe asked.\u201d<\/p>\n I stared at him.<\/p>\n \u201cShe asked?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbout a year before the pregnancy.\u201d<\/p>\n My stomach tightened.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would she ask?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at me.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause she wanted to know if you could have children.\u201d<\/p>\n The room went silent.<\/p>\n I looked at Rosalind.<\/p>\n She had stopped writing.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would my best friend need to know that?\u201d<\/p>\n Tanner swallowed.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n That answer wasn\u2019t good enough.<\/p>\n But then he said something worse.<\/p>\n \u201cShe told me she could give me the family I wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n I felt the room tilt.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe said she wanted children too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you believed her?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n He looked at me.<\/p>\n \u201cYou weren\u2019t stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n I leaned forward.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n He flinched.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd she was selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n I paused.<\/p>\n \u201cBut neither of you was confused.\u201d<\/p>\n He lowered his head.<\/p>\n Then I asked the question that had been sitting in my mind since the baby shower.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was the plan?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at Rosalind.<\/p>\n She nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cTell her.\u201d<\/p>\n Tanner took a long breath.<\/p>\n \u201cWe were going to wait until the baby was born.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFor me to move out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n He hesitated.<\/p>\n \u201cBree had an apartment lined up.\u201d<\/p>\n My heart sank.<\/p>\n \u201cAn apartment?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd the money?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked away.<\/p>\n \u201cThe money was for a house.\u201d<\/p>\n I laughed once.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t a happy laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were buying a house with my money.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSome of it was mine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSome.\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cI earned it too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd what were you going to tell everyone?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat we had grown apart.\u201d<\/p>\n I stared at him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were going to make me look like the reason.\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n I already knew.<\/p>\n Then Rosalind opened another folder.<\/p>\n \u201cThere is one thing we haven\u2019t discussed.\u201d<\/p>\n Tanner looked nervous.<\/p>\n She slid a document across the table.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you recognize this?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at it.<\/p>\n His face changed.<\/p>\n It was a letter from a private medical records service.<\/p>\n It showed a request for access to my fertility records.<\/p>\n The request had been submitted electronically.<\/p>\n The authorization signature had been forged.<\/p>\n Tanner stared at it.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t do that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen who did?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n Rosalind pointed at the bottom.<\/p>\n \u201cLook at the IP address.\u201d<\/p>\n Tanner did.<\/p>\n His face went white.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s from our house.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked at him.<\/p>\n \u201cYou said you didn\u2019t access my records.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen who did?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at me.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n We left Rosalind\u2019s office without another word.<\/p>\n That evening, I called Bree.<\/p>\n She answered after the third ring.<\/p>\n \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid you access my medical records?\u201d<\/p>\n Silence.<\/p>\n \u201cBree.\u201d<\/p>\n She started crying.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t mean for you to find out like this.\u201d<\/p>\n My entire body went cold.<\/p>\n \u201cYou did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was trying to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUnderstand what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhether you could have children.\u201d<\/p>\n I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n She cried harder.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause Tanner told me you couldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n I opened my eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cHe told you that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYears ago.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBefore the affair?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n I sat down.<\/p>\n \u201cBree, why did you need to know?\u201d<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n Finally, she whispered:<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I wanted what you had.\u201d<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t speak.<\/p>\n \u201cYou had Tanner.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou had a home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou had a stable life.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou had friends.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou had everything.\u201d<\/p>\n I felt tears burn my eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you decided to take it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou decided that because you wanted my life, you were entitled to destroy it.\u201d<\/p>\n She was silent.<\/p>\n Then she said:<\/p>\n \u201cThere was something else.\u201d<\/p>\n I waited.<\/p>\n \u201cThe baby may not be Tanner\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI had been seeing Marcus.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t know who the father was.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Tanner believed it was his.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you let him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n She started crying.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause if he believed the baby was his, he\u2019d leave you.\u201d<\/p>\n I felt sick.<\/p>\n There it was.<\/p>\n The whole plan.<\/p>\n The pregnancy wasn\u2019t simply an accident.<\/p>\n It had become leverage.<\/p>\n Bree had used the baby to pull Tanner out of my marriage.<\/p>\n Tanner had used my fertility diagnosis to justify abandoning me.<\/p>\n And both of them had quietly built a future using pieces of my life.<\/p>\n I hung up.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t scream.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t cry.<\/p>\n I simply sat there.<\/p>\n And for the first time in nine years, I didn\u2019t feel like Bree was my sister.<\/p>\n I felt like she was a stranger.<\/p>\n Three weeks later, the divorce proceedings began.<\/p>\n Tanner moved into the apartment he had secretly prepared.<\/p>\n Bree moved in with her mother.<\/p>\n Marcus requested a paternity test.<\/p>\n The results came back six weeks later.<\/p>\n The baby was Marcus\u2019s.<\/p>\n Tanner wasn\u2019t the father.<\/p>\n When Rosalind told me, I felt something unexpected.<\/p>\n Relief.<\/p>\n Not because Marcus was the father.<\/p>\n Not because Bree was exposed.<\/p>\n But because the last piece of Tanner\u2019s story had collapsed.<\/p>\n He had destroyed our marriage for a child that wasn\u2019t even his.<\/p>\n He had risked everything for a future built on a lie.<\/p>\n The financial investigation continued.<\/p>\n We discovered something else.<\/p>\n The money Tanner had moved wasn\u2019t simply sitting in another account.<\/p>\n He had invested it.<\/p>\n And some of those investments had been made through a company registered under Caleb Rowe\u2019s name.<\/p>\n Bree\u2019s brother.<\/p>\n That explained why Tanner had been paying Rowe Consulting.<\/p>\n It also explained the house.<\/p>\n They had been preparing a business arrangement.<\/p>\n Tanner was going to put money into a commercial property.<\/p>\n Bree\u2019s family would manage it.<\/p>\n He had planned to tell me he had lost money in an investment.<\/p>\n Then, during the divorce, he would claim the remaining funds were separate property.<\/p>\n Rosalind uncovered the documents.<\/p>\n The plan fell apart.<\/p>\n The court ordered the money accounted for.<\/p>\n The property was frozen.<\/p>\n Tanner\u2019s attorney eventually advised him to cooperate.<\/p>\n He did.<\/p>\n Not because he suddenly became honest.<\/p>\n Because he realized he had nowhere left to hide.<\/p>\n Months passed.<\/p>\n The divorce was finalized.<\/p>\n The house remained mine.<\/p>\n The savings were restored.<\/p>\n The investments were divided according to the settlement.<\/p>\n Tanner left with less than he expected and more than he deserved to feel comfortable about.<\/p>\n But money wasn\u2019t what mattered to me anymore.<\/p>\n The day I signed the final papers, I walked out of the courthouse and stood on the steps.<\/p>\n The sun was bright.<\/p>\n People were coming and going.<\/p>\n Cars moved through the intersection.<\/p>\n Nobody knew that my entire life had just changed.<\/p>\n Rosalind stood beside me.<\/p>\n \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\n I thought about the question.<\/p>\n Then I smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cThat is an honest answer.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked up at the sky.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I\u2019m going to be.\u201d<\/p>\n Six months later, I moved.<\/p>\n Not because I was running away.<\/p>\n Because I wanted a home that didn\u2019t contain memories of betrayal.<\/p>\n I found a small house with a wide kitchen and huge windows.<\/p>\n The first thing I did was buy a new kitchen table.<\/p>\n Then I bought good scissors.<\/p>\n And I laughed the first time I opened the drawer.<\/p>\n For years, Bree had known where I kept them.<\/p>\n Now nobody did.<\/p>\n I started going to therapy.<\/p>\n I traveled.<\/p>\n I joined a weekend cooking class.<\/p>\n I started seeing friends I had neglected because my marriage had slowly become my entire world.<\/p>\n And one Saturday afternoon, while I was planting flowers in my backyard, my phone rang.<\/p>\n It was Bree.<\/p>\n I almost didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n But I did.<\/p>\n \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n She was quiet.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I see you?\u201d<\/p>\n I looked at the flowers.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI want to apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou already did.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo. I cried. That\u2019s not the same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n I said nothing.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you don\u2019t owe me forgiveness.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know you may never want me in your life again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut I wanted to tell you something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI had the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hope he\u2019s healthy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe is.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a pause.<\/p>\n \u201cMarcus is a good father.\u201d<\/p>\n I smiled slightly.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m glad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wanted to tell you because\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Her voice cracked.<\/p>\n \u201cI finally understand something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI spent years thinking I deserved what other people had.\u201d<\/p>\n I waited.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I destroyed the person who loved me most.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked toward the house.<\/p>\n \u201cBree\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t expect you to forgive me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re taking responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n She started crying.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cGoodbye, Bree.\u201d<\/p>\n Then I ended the call.<\/p>\n I sat there for a long time.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t feel victorious.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t feel angry.<\/p>\n I felt free.<\/p>\n A year after the baby shower, I received an invitation.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t from Bree.<\/p>\n It was from Marcus.<\/p>\n He and Bree were getting married.<\/p>\n I stared at the invitation.<\/p>\n I almost threw it away.<\/p>\n Then I realized something.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t need to hate them.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t need to forgive them either.<\/p>\n I simply needed to stop carrying them.<\/p>\n So I put the invitation in the recycling bin.<\/p>\n Then I went back outside.<\/p>\n My mother called that evening.<\/p>\n \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n I smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cReally.\u201d<\/p>\n She asked me if I was seeing anyone.<\/p>\n I laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWould you like to?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe someday.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t have to rush.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked around my kitchen.<\/p>\n The sunlight was coming through the window.<\/p>\n There was music playing softly.<\/p>\n Dinner was cooking.<\/p>\n And for the first time in years, there was no one in my house I was afraid to lose.<\/p>\n I realized that was the thing I had misunderstood about starting over.<\/p>\n I thought starting over meant finding someone new.<\/p>\n It didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Sometimes starting over meant finally becoming someone you had abandoned while trying to keep everyone else happy.<\/p>\n I had spent nine years being Bree\u2019s sister.<\/p>\n I had spent years being Tanner\u2019s wife.<\/p>\n I had spent so long being whatever everyone needed that I had forgotten who I was when nobody was asking anything from me.<\/p>\n Now I knew.<\/p>\n I was the woman who survived being betrayed by the two people she trusted most.<\/p>\n I was the woman who didn\u2019t destroy herself trying to punish them.<\/p>\n I was the woman who walked away.<\/p>\n And eventually, I was the woman who learned that losing people who never truly valued you isn\u2019t always the end of your story.<\/p>\n Sometimes it\u2019s the first page of the life you were supposed to have.<\/p>\n Two years later, I was sitting at that same kitchen table when someone knocked on my door.<\/p>\n I opened it.<\/p>\n A man stood there holding a box.<\/p>\n \u201cI think this belongs to you.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked inside.<\/p>\n It was the little knitted baby hat from the shower.<\/p>\n The one I had placed in Bree\u2019s lap before everything fell apart.<\/p>\n My heart tightened.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere did you get this?\u201d<\/p>\n He smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cMarcus gave it to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe said it belonged to the person who bought it.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked down at the tiny hat.<\/p>\n There was a small note attached.<\/p>\n I unfolded it.<\/p>\n There were only six words.<\/p>\n You deserved the truth from us.<\/strong><\/p>\n I stood there for a long time.<\/p>\n Then I folded the note.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t keep it.<\/p>\n But I kept the hat.<\/p>\n Not because it reminded me of Tanner.<\/p>\n Not because it reminded me of Bree.<\/p>\n I kept it because the baby who wore it had never done anything wrong.<\/p>\n And because some memories don\u2019t need to be destroyed.<\/p>\n They simply need to stop controlling you.<\/p>\n That night, I placed the hat in a box with photographs from my old life.<\/p>\n I closed the lid.<\/p>\n Then I put the box on the highest shelf in my closet.<\/p>\n And I never opened it again.<\/p>\n A few months later, I met someone.<\/p>\n His name was Daniel.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t know Tanner.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t know Bree.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t know the story.<\/p>\n On our third date, I told him I had been married before.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t ask for details.<\/p>\n He simply said:<\/p>\n \u201cWhenever you\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/p>\n That sentence meant more to me than he could possibly understand.<\/p>\n Because for the first time, someone wasn\u2019t trying to take something from me.<\/p>\n He wasn\u2019t rushing me.<\/p>\n He wasn\u2019t demanding proof.<\/p>\n He wasn\u2019t asking me to become someone else.<\/p>\n He was simply giving me space to be myself.<\/p>\n And slowly, carefully, I let him in.<\/p>\n Not because I needed someone.<\/p>\n Because I wanted someone.<\/p>\n There was a difference.<\/p>\n One evening, nearly three years after the baby shower, Daniel and I stood in my backyard watching the sunset.<\/p>\n He reached for my hand.<\/p>\n \u201cYou happy?\u201d<\/p>\n I looked at him.<\/p>\n Then at the house.<\/p>\n Then at the flowers I had planted myself.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n He smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n I squeezed his hand.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m finally happy.\u201d<\/p>\n And that was the truth.<\/p>\n Not because Tanner had lost.<\/p>\n Not because Bree had suffered.<\/p>\n Not because the court had punished anyone.<\/p>\n Not because I had proven anything.<\/p>\n I was happy because my life no longer depended on people who had chosen to betray me.<\/p>\n The woman who once sat silently on her couch staring at a photograph of a clinic form was gone.<\/p>\n In her place was someone stronger.<\/p>\n Someone wiser.<\/p>\n Someone who understood that love without honesty isn\u2019t love you can build a life on.<\/p>\n And sometimes the most painful ending is simply the door opening to something better.<\/p>\n I had thought the baby shower was the day my marriage ended.<\/p>\n I was wrong.<\/p>\n It was the day I finally saw my marriage for what it had already become.<\/p>\n The ending had started long before that slideshow.<\/p>\n But my real story?<\/p>\n My real story began the moment I stopped begging people to choose me.<\/p>\n Because I finally chose myself.<\/p>\n And this time\u2026<\/p>\n I wasn\u2019t afraid of what came next.<\/p>\n PART 3 Nine years later, she was sitting in my living room carrying my husband\u2019s child. And suddenly I understood something I hadn\u2019t allowed myself to understand before. The betrayal … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":18247,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-inspiration","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21176","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21176"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21176\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21177,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21176\/revisions\/21177"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/18247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}THE END<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"