**PART 2 \u2014 THE BABY THEY REFUSED**<\/p>\n
I looked down at the newborn sleeping against my chest and made a decision that would change all four of our lives.<\/p>\n
Claire and Evan were still whispering near the window.<\/p>\n
They were talking as though the little girl in my arms were a defective item they could simply return.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe wasn\u2019t supposed to look like this,\u201d Evan hissed.<\/p>\n
Claire glanced toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cKeep your voice down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Someone made a mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n
My stomach tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat mistake?\u201d<\/p>\n
They both froze.<\/p>\n
Claire turned slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarianne, you just gave birth. You\u2019re exhausted. We shouldn\u2019t have this conversation right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
I almost laughed.<\/p>\n
**\u201cYou just said you don\u2019t want the child I carried for nine months, Claire. I think now is exactly when we should have this conversation.\u201d**<\/p>\n
The baby stirred.<\/p>\n
I gently rocked her.<\/p>\n
She had dark curls plastered against her tiny head, delicate fingers, and the roundest cheeks I had ever seen.<\/p>\n
She was perfect.<\/p>\n
Yet neither of them had touched her.<\/p>\n
Not once.<\/p>\n
Evan rubbed both hands across his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere were expectations.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat expectations?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire shot him a warning look.<\/p>\n
That was when I knew something was terribly wrong.<\/p>\n
Not disappointment.<\/p>\n
Not shock.<\/p>\n
**A secret.**<\/p>\n
I pressed the call button beside the hospital bed.<\/p>\n
A nurse appeared a minute later.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Claire immediately stepped forward.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy sister is emotional. She\u2019s just delivered\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m perfectly capable of speaking for myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
The nurse looked between us.<\/p>\n
I held the baby closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want these two alone with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s mouth fell open.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarianne!\u201d<\/p>\n
The nurse\u2019s expression changed immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you saying you feel the baby may be unsafe?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m saying they walked into this room, looked at her, and said they didn\u2019t want her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
The nurse looked at Claire.<\/p>\n
Then Evan.<\/p>\n
Neither denied it.<\/p>\n
That told her everything she needed to know.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to ask you both to step outside.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is our daughter,\u201d Claire snapped.<\/p>\n
That sentence ignited something inside me.<\/p>\n
\u201cFive minutes ago, you said you didn\u2019t want her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire\u2019s face crumpled.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen make me understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stared at me.<\/p>\n
And for one terrible second, I saw the sister I had grown up with.<\/p>\n
The girl who had crawled into my bed during thunderstorms.<\/p>\n
The teenager whose hand I held after her first heartbreak.<\/p>\n
The woman who cried into my shoulder when doctors told her she would never carry a pregnancy.<\/p>\n
Then her expression hardened again.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
The nurse opened the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease step outside.\u201d<\/p>\n
Evan went first.<\/p>\n
Claire stayed.<\/p>\n
She looked at the baby one more time.<\/p>\n
There was something in her eyes I couldn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n
Not disgust.<\/p>\n
Not exactly.<\/p>\n
Fear.<\/p>\n
Then she whispered something that haunted me.<\/p>\n
**\u201cShe wasn\u2019t supposed to be yours.\u201d**<\/p>\n
And she walked out.<\/p>\n
I barely slept that night.<\/p>\n
Every time I closed my eyes, I heard those words.<\/p>\n
She wasn\u2019t supposed to be yours.<\/p>\n
What did that mean?<\/p>\n
Technically, the baby wasn\u2019t mine.<\/p>\n
At least that was what I had always believed.<\/p>\n
Claire and Evan had gone through fertility treatment. They told me their embryo had been transferred into my uterus.<\/p>\n
I was only carrying their child.<\/p>\n
That had been the agreement.<\/p>\n
That was what the doctors had explained.<\/p>\n
That was what I had signed.<\/p>\n
But as the hospital room darkened and the little girl slept in the bassinet beside me, doubt crept in.<\/p>\n
At two in the morning, I turned on the bedside lamp.<\/p>\n
I studied her face.<\/p>\n
Her nose.<\/p>\n
Her mouth.<\/p>\n
Her tiny chin.<\/p>\n
Something familiar tugged at me.<\/p>\n
Ridiculous, I told myself.<\/p>\n
Newborn babies changed constantly.<\/p>\n
They resembled everyone and no one.<\/p>\n
Still\u2026<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t shake the feeling.<\/p>\n
The next morning, Claire returned alone.<\/p>\n
She stood in the doorway holding two coffees.<\/p>\n
For a moment, it felt almost normal.<\/p>\n
Like one of the hundreds of mornings when we had sat together discussing our marriages, children, parents, jobs.<\/p>\n
Then I remembered the night before.<\/p>\n
\u201cI brought your favorite.\u201d<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t take it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s Evan?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire placed the coffees on the counter.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s\u2026 upset.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo am I.\u201d<\/p>\n
She pulled a chair beside my bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarianne, I need you to listen before you judge us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire twisted her wedding ring.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had expectations about the child.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou keep saying that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat expectations?\u201d<\/p>\n
She stared at the floor.<\/p>\n
Then finally said, \u201cWhen we started fertility treatment, there were things we requested.\u201d<\/p>\n
My chest tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat things?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire swallowed.<\/p>\n
\u201cCharacteristics.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cCharacteristics?\u201d<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cCertain genetic traits.\u201d<\/p>\n
A cold sensation traveled up my spine.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told me this embryo was created using your egg and Evan\u2019s sperm.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tears formed in her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt as if the hospital bed had disappeared beneath me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe doctors said my egg quality was too poor.\u201d<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t speak.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe used a donor.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked toward the bassinet.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou never told me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI knew you\u2019d ask questions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I would!\u201d<\/p>\n
The baby startled at my raised voice.<\/p>\n
I immediately lowered it.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou let me carry a child for nine months without telling me whose embryo was inside my body?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe chose the donor carefully.\u201d<\/p>\n
My hands began trembling.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat isn\u2019t the point.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire leaned closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe had the characteristics we wanted. Her medical history was excellent. She was educated, athletic, healthy\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at my sister as if I had never seen her before.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou selected a human being like a catalogue.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat isn\u2019t fair.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo? Then tell me what happened yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire began crying.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe baby doesn\u2019t resemble the donor profile.\u201d<\/p>\n
I could barely process what I was hearing.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s why you rejected her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou keep saying that because you know how terrible this sounds.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe clinic made a mistake!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd this little girl deserves abandonment because someone made a clerical error?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire covered her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t what we planned.\u201d<\/p>\n
I leaned forward.<\/p>\n
**\u201cChildren are not plans, Claire.\u201d**<\/p>\n
She looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey aren\u2019t furniture. They aren\u2019t cars. They aren\u2019t custom orders.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her jaw tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s easy for you to say. You already had children.\u201d<\/p>\n
I flinched.<\/p>\n
She saw it.<\/p>\n
And immediately regretted it.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarianne, I didn\u2019t mean\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, you did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve spent years believing motherhood would solve something inside you. And now a baby is lying ten feet away, and you won\u2019t even hold her because she doesn\u2019t match a photograph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is not what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
She hesitated.<\/p>\n
That hesitation told me there was more.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to go.\u201d<\/p>\n
I grabbed her wrist.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat aren\u2019t you telling me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Her face went pale.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
She pulled away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Marianne.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then she looked toward the baby.<\/p>\n
And whispered:<\/p>\n
**\u201cAsk them whose embryo they actually transferred.\u201d**<\/p>\n
She left.<\/p>\n
For several minutes, I sat completely still.<\/p>\n
Then I pressed the call button.<\/p>\n
When the nurse arrived, I asked for the attending physician.<\/p>\n
Twenty minutes later, Dr. Patel entered.<\/p>\n
She had been part of the delivery team but not part of the original fertility treatment.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need information about the embryo transfer.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her expression became cautious.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll need to speak with the fertility clinic.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI intend to.\u201d<\/p>\n
I told her what Claire had said.<\/p>\n
Dr. Patel listened without interrupting.<\/p>\n
When I finished, she pulled a chair close.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are privacy issues involved. But if you believe there may have been an error involving reproductive material, you should document everything immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we do a DNA test?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow quickly?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are tests available.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want one.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Patel hesitated.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should consider speaking with an attorney as well.\u201d<\/p>\n
That scared me more than anything.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause depending on the results, there may be complicated questions regarding parentage.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at the sleeping baby.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe needs someone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd right now, the people who intended to raise her don\u2019t want her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Patel nodded slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen the hospital\u2019s social-work department will need to be involved.\u201d<\/p>\n
My heart broke hearing those words.<\/p>\n
Social worker.<\/p>\n
Parentage.<\/p>\n
Attorney.<\/p>\n
DNA.<\/p>\n
Less than twenty-four hours earlier, I had thought I was simply giving my sister the greatest gift I could possibly give.<\/p>\n
Now I didn\u2019t even know whose child I had delivered.<\/p>\n
By afternoon, the situation had become formal.<\/p>\n
A hospital social worker named Mrs. Bennett arrived carrying a folder.<\/p>\n
She was kind but direct.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire and Evan have indicated that they are unwilling to take physical custody of the baby at this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt this time?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is the language they used.\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s not luggage.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happens to her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat depends on several factors.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan she stay with me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mrs. Bennett studied me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just delivered her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you prepared for that possibility?\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at the bassinet.<\/p>\n
The baby had wrapped her tiny hand around my finger earlier.<\/p>\n
She had been completely dependent on me for nine months.<\/p>\n
And now the people who had spent years begging for her had disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mrs. Bennett nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll explore the legal options.\u201d<\/p>\n
That evening, my oldest daughter, Hannah, arrived.<\/p>\n
She was twenty-one.<\/p>\n
The moment she walked into the room, she hugged me carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
I told her everything.<\/p>\n
At first she thought I was joking.<\/p>\n
Then she saw my face.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my God.\u201d<\/p>\n
She walked toward the bassinet.<\/p>\n
The baby opened her eyes.<\/p>\n
Hannah smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n
I started crying.<\/p>\n
Those two words shattered me.<\/p>\n
Because they were the words Claire should have said.<\/p>\n
Hannah picked her up carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, little one.\u201d<\/p>\n
The baby settled almost instantly.<\/p>\n
Then Hannah froze.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
She stared at the baby.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHannah.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSay it.\u201d<\/p>\n
She studied the little girl again.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe kind of looks like Grandma.\u201d<\/p>\n
My breath stopped.<\/p>\n
Our mother had died eleven years earlier.<\/p>\n
Hannah turned toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat nose.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at the baby.<\/p>\n
And suddenly I saw it.<\/p>\n
My mother.<\/p>\n
Not perfectly.<\/p>\n
Not unmistakably.<\/p>\n
But enough to make my skin prickle.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cProbably.\u201d<\/p>\n
Still, neither of us could stop staring.<\/p>\n
The DNA samples were collected the following morning.<\/p>\n
Mine.<\/p>\n
The baby\u2019s.<\/p>\n
Claire refused to provide one.<\/p>\n
Evan refused too.<\/p>\n
That made me even more suspicious.<\/p>\n
I called the fertility clinic twelve times.<\/p>\n
Each time I was transferred.<\/p>\n
Each time someone told me a supervisor would return my call.<\/p>\n
Nobody did.<\/p>\n
Finally, I called from Hannah\u2019s phone instead of mine.<\/p>\n
A receptionist answered immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m calling regarding Marianne Cole.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was a pause.<\/p>\n
\u201cMay I ask who is calling?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHer daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another pause.<\/p>\n
Then whispering.<\/p>\n
I heard someone in the background say:<\/p>\n
\u201cLegal said no direct communication.\u201d<\/p>\n
My entire body went cold.<\/p>\n
I took the phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cLegal said what?\u201d<\/p>\n
The receptionist gasped.<\/p>\n
\u201cMrs. Cole?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew there was a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not authorized\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease contact our legal department.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened to the embryo?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t discuss\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
The call disconnected.<\/p>\n
That was the moment my fear became certainty.<\/p>\n
Something had gone terribly wrong.<\/p>\n
And they knew it.<\/p>\n
The next call I made was to an attorney.<\/p>\n
Her name was Rebecca Sloan.<\/p>\n
She arrived that evening wearing a navy suit and carrying no patience for evasive answers.<\/p>\n
She listened to the entire story.<\/p>\n
Then she asked one question.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you sign documents before the embryo transfer?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you still have copies?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire kept most of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rebecca\u2019s eyes sharpened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI trusted her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you personally meet the fertility specialist?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSeveral times.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWere you told the genetic source of the embryo?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. Originally, I was told it came from Claire and Evan. Apparently that wasn\u2019t true.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rebecca wrote something down.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnything else unusual?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought carefully.<\/p>\n
Then remembered.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was one appointment Claire didn\u2019t attend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAbout three weeks before the transfer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey asked me to come in for additional bloodwork.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n
I hesitated.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was a procedure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rebecca stopped writing.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat procedure?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey said they needed a uterine sample.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her expression changed.<\/p>\n
\u201cDescribe it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I did.<\/p>\n
When I finished, she leaned back slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn\u2019t sound like what they told you.\u201d<\/p>\n
My throat tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you saying?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m saying I want your complete clinic records.\u201d<\/p>\n
For the first time, fear became anger.<\/p>\n
Someone had used my body.<\/p>\n
Maybe my sister.<\/p>\n
Maybe the clinic.<\/p>\n
Maybe both.<\/p>\n
Rebecca stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll send an emergency preservation letter tonight. They\u2019ll be instructed not to destroy or modify any records.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think they would?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think when a clinic suddenly directs communication through lawyers, you preserve everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
The baby began crying.<\/p>\n
I reached for her.<\/p>\n
Rebecca watched me lift the little girl against my chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe calms quickly with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI carried her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rebecca\u2019s expression softened.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
But there was something in the way she said it.<\/p>\n
Something she wasn\u2019t saying.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRebecca.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait for the DNA test.\u201d<\/p>\n
Three days later, I was discharged.<\/p>\n
The baby came with me under a temporary emergency caregiving arrangement while legal parentage was investigated.<\/p>\n
Claire did not call.<\/p>\n
Evan did not call.<\/p>\n
They didn\u2019t ask for photographs.<\/p>\n
They didn\u2019t ask how she was sleeping.<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
Hannah moved back home temporarily.<\/p>\n
My younger son, Daniel, drove four hours from college and arrived carrying diapers, formula, blankets, and a stuffed rabbit.<\/p>\n
He looked furious.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s Aunt Claire?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe begged you for two years.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd now she just disappears?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel looked into the crib.<\/p>\n
The baby yawned.<\/p>\n
His anger melted.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are we calling her?\u201d<\/p>\n
That question hit me unexpectedly.<\/p>\n
Claire had planned to name her Arabella.<\/p>\n
She had monogrammed blankets.<\/p>\n
Custom nursery decorations.<\/p>\n
A silver bracelet.<\/p>\n
But those things belonged to a dream Claire had abandoned.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hannah smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about Grace?\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy Grace?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause she deserves something that doesn\u2019t come with conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n
My eyes filled.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrace.\u201d<\/p>\n
The baby stretched one tiny hand.<\/p>\n
And just like that, she had a name.<\/p>\n
Three days later, Rebecca called.<\/p>\n
\u201cI received partial records.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPartial?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe clinic claims some files are temporarily inaccessible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds convenient.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did you find?\u201d<\/p>\n
There was silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarianne, were you ever an egg donor?\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed nervously.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYears ago. Maybe in your twenties?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you ever freeze eggs?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUndergo fertility treatment?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rebecca went quiet again.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you asking me this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause one record contains your name where the donor identification number should be.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nearly dropped the phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could be an administrative error.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOr?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need the DNA result.\u201d<\/p>\n
My legs weakened.<\/p>\n
I sat at the kitchen table.<\/p>\n
Grace was sleeping nearby.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat exactly does the record say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt references cryopreserved oocytes under your patient identification.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never froze eggs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow could they have my eggs?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room spun.<\/p>\n
Then I remembered the procedure.<\/p>\n
Three weeks before the embryo transfer.<\/p>\n
The procedure they said was a uterine sample.<\/p>\n
My hands went numb.<\/p>\n
\u201cRebecca.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if they took them?\u201d<\/p>\n
She didn\u2019t answer immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat would involve serious legal and medical issues. We don\u2019t know that happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
But we both knew the possibility existed.<\/p>\n
That night, I couldn\u2019t sleep.<\/p>\n
I sat beside Grace\u2019s crib until nearly dawn.<\/p>\n
I studied her face.<\/p>\n
My mother\u2019s nose.<\/p>\n
My chin.<\/p>\n
Even the strange little wrinkle she made between her eyebrows when she was waking.<\/p>\n
At six seventeen in the morning, my phone rang.<\/p>\n
Unknown number.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n
A woman whispered:<\/p>\n
\u201cIs this Marianne Cole?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy name is Dr. Allison Mercer.\u201d<\/p>\n
I recognized the name instantly.<\/p>\n
She had worked at the fertility clinic.<\/p>\n
I had met her twice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you calling me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI no longer work there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen did you leave?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n
My heart began pounding.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
She exhaled shakily.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I discovered what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened to my baby?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s safe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t discuss everything over the phone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can start.\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
Then:<\/p>\n
**\u201cThere was no accidental embryo mix-up.\u201d**<\/p>\n
I gripped the counter.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe transfer was intentional.\u201d<\/p>\n
My mouth went dry.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhose embryo was it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Another pause.<\/p>\n
\u201cYours.\u201d<\/p>\n
The word barely registered.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never donated eggs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
My hand began shaking.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did you people do to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Mercer started crying.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWHAT DID YOU DO?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hannah ran into the kitchen.<\/p>\n
I raised one hand to stop her from speaking.<\/p>\n
Dr. Mercer whispered:<\/p>\n
\u201cThe procedure you underwent before the transfer wasn\u2019t the procedure you were told it was.\u201d<\/p>\n
My knees almost buckled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey retrieved reproductive material from you without properly informing you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t breathe.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho authorized it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to show you the records.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWas Claire involved?\u201d<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
That silence was the answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Mercer said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me my sister didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
My heart shattered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas Grace created from my egg?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd Evan?\u201d<\/p>\n
Another silence.<\/p>\n
Then she said the sentence that changed everything again.<\/p>\n
**\u201cEvan is not the biological father.\u201d**<\/p>\n
I stared at the wall.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen who is?\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Mercer began crying harder.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you should sit down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sitting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not going to believe me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTry me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was another patient connected to Claire\u2019s treatment plan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat patient?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA man.\u201d<\/p>\n
My mind raced.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t say his name over this line.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause if Claire discovers I contacted you, she may destroy the only copy of the authorization records I managed to preserve.\u201d<\/p>\n
My blood went cold.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire has records?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy would she have clinic authorization records?\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Mercer whispered:<\/p>\n
**\u201cBecause your sister wasn\u2019t just a patient, Marianne.\u201d**<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe helped arrange the entire thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
The call ended.<\/p>\n
For several seconds, I remained frozen.<\/p>\n
Then someone knocked on the front door.<\/p>\n
Three slow knocks.<\/p>\n
Hannah and I looked at each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom?\u201d<\/p>\n
I walked toward the door.<\/p>\n
Rebecca had told me not to speak to Claire without her present.<\/p>\n
So I checked the camera first.<\/p>\n
Claire stood outside.<\/p>\n
Alone.<\/p>\n
Her hair was unwashed.<\/p>\n
Her eyes were swollen.<\/p>\n
She looked like she hadn\u2019t slept in days.<\/p>\n
In her hands was a large brown envelope.<\/p>\n
I opened the door but kept the chain locked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI need to explain.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou had nine months.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you know they used my egg?\u201d<\/p>\n
Her face collapsed.<\/p>\n
That was all the confirmation I needed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMarianne\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou let them take something from my body without telling me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t supposed to happen that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
I slammed my hand against the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cHOW was it supposed to happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire started sobbing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted a child.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou had one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou had Grace.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shook her head violently.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou still don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen explain it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire looked behind her as if afraid someone had followed.<\/p>\n
Then she pushed the brown envelope toward the opening.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are documents inside.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat documents?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI already know you used my egg.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not the worst part.\u201d<\/p>\n
My stomach twisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat could possibly be worse?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire looked at me.<\/p>\n
Her voice was almost inaudible.<\/p>\n
**\u201cThe man whose DNA was used to create Grace was never supposed to find out she existed.\u201d**<\/p>\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho is he?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire closed her eyes.<\/p>\n
And when she finally spoke his name, I thought I had misheard her.<\/p>\n
Because I knew him.<\/p>\n
Not casually.<\/p>\n
Not from photographs.<\/p>\n
I knew his voice.<\/p>\n
His laugh.<\/p>\n
The scar beside his left eyebrow.<\/p>\n
I knew the way he drank coffee.<\/p>\n
I knew the promise he had made me twenty-two years earlier.<\/p>\n
Most of all\u2026<\/p>\n
**I knew he was supposed to be dead.**<\/p>\n
The envelope slipped from Claire\u2019s fingers and landed between us.<\/p>\n
A photograph slid across the floor.<\/p>\n
I looked down.<\/p>\n
And the entire world seemed to tilt.<\/p>\n
It showed a man standing outside the fertility clinic only eight months earlier.<\/p>\n
Alive.<\/p>\n
Older.<\/p>\n
But unmistakable.<\/p>\n
My first husband.<\/p>\n
Hannah and Daniel\u2019s father.<\/p>\n
The man whose funeral I had attended seventeen years ago.<\/p>\n
On the back of the photograph, someone had written four words:<\/p>\n
**HE KNOWS ABOUT THE BABY.**<\/p>\n
Then Claire whispered:<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s coming here.\u201d<\/p>\n
And behind her, at the end of my driveway, a black car slowly turned toward the house.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
**PART 2 \u2014 THE BABY THEY REFUSED** I looked down at the newborn sleeping against my chest and made a decision that would change all four of our lives. Claire … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":18247,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-inspiration","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21049"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21049\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21050,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21049\/revisions\/21050"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/18247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readingmydairy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}