I shut my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I wanted the children to get here.”
“You told me it came from your savings.”
“The tickets did. I paid for those.”
“Dad, you let me stand at the hotel desk believing you paid for all of it.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
I pressed my fingertips against my forehead. “You should have trusted me with the truth.”
“I should have.”
There was no argument in his voice. That made it easier to hear him, though it did not make me less angry.
“I called Chris because I wanted him to do one useful thing for his children,” George said. “I told him paying for a room wouldn’t make him their dad again. He agreed.”
“He asked to see them.”
“That’s your decision, Claire. And theirs.”
I looked back into the room. Lily had rolled toward Ben in her sleep, the way she always did.
“I wish you’d told me,” I said.
“So do I.”
That afternoon, the twins asked to go back to the water. Ben was tired, so we stayed near the boardwalk and let the waves come to us. Lily stood where the foam reached her toes. Each time it retreated, she took one careful step forward. Ben sat on the sand beside me and called out warnings whenever he thought a wave was too big.
Then he spotted a man standing farther up the beach.
“Mom,” he said.
I followed his gaze.
Chris was beside the boardwalk, holding his shoes in one hand. He was thinner than I remembered. He did not approach us. He simply stood there, looking at Lily as she stepped away from a wave, laughing.
“Is that Dad?” Ben asked.
Lily turned. Her laughter vanished.
I rose and went to them both. “Yes.”
Ben’s fingers closed around mine. “You said you didn’t know if he was coming.”
“I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
Chris remained where he was. He had seen that the children recognized him.
Lily looked up at me. “Can I talk to him?”
“You can. You can also stay here.”
She thought about it, then began walking. Ben followed at her side. I stayed close enough to reach them.
Chris knelt when we came near. His eyes filled as he looked from one child to the other, but Lily spoke before he could.
“Ben asked you when you were coming back,” she said. “You didn’t answer.”
Chris swallowed. “I know.”
“Answer him now.”
Ben stood very still.
“I want to come back,” Chris said. “If you’ll let me. I’ll call when I say I’m going to call, and I won’t disappear again.”
Ben studied his face. “You were scared.”
“Yes.”
“We were scared, too.”
Chris looked down at the sand. “I’m sorry I left you with that.”
For a while, none of us moved. Then Lily reached into her pocket and brought out the little white shell.
“This was on our castle,” she said. “I’m keeping it. You can look.”
Chris held his palm beneath her hand while she showed him. She did not give it to him.
That evening, after a short visit on the beach, I took the children upstairs to rest. Chris stayed behind. He had accepted the time I gave him, but as we parted, he asked if he could speak to me alone.
I went down once the twins were asleep. Elena knew I was leaving them for a few minutes and promised to call if either woke.
Chris waited on the terrace outside the lobby. For once, he did not try to fill the silence.
“Lily asked the question Ben needed answered,” I said. “Tomorrow he may ask you another one.”
“I’ll answer it.”
“You said that today.”
“I know what my word is worth to you.”
“Then show them,” I said. “For longer than one afternoon.”
He nodded. His hands trembled as he reached into his jacket.
“There’s something else I have to tell you.”
He took out an old envelope. It had been opened and folded so many times that the edges had gone soft.
I saw the return address first: a genetics clinic in the city where Chris had grown up. The postmark was dated eight years before the twins were born.
“What is this?”
“A letter they sent after my brother died,” Chris said.
I knew he had lost a brother when they were young. Chris had rarely spoken about him.
He held the envelope out, but I did not take it.
“What does it say?”
“The doctors found a change in our family that can raise the risk of certain cancers. They told me to meet with a genetic counselor before I had children.”
The terrace seemed to tilt beneath me.
“Did you go?”
“No.”
“Did you ever tell Lily and Ben’s doctors about this?”
He shook his head.
I stared at the envelope in his hand. I could not tell whether it had anything to do with the twins’ illnesses. That was a question for their doctors, and they needed to see the letter as soon as possible.
Chris’s voice broke. “When Lily was diagnosed, I thought about it. Then Ben—”
“You knew about this before they were born?” I asked.
He looked me in the eye at last.
“Yes.”
