“Mom, how much money did you give Melissa?”
She hesitated.
“I’d have to calculate it.”
“I won’t.”
I opened the calculator on my phone.
Melissa stepped toward me.
“Amanda, don’t.”
That only made me more determined.
I added every amount.
Then checked the total.
Twice.
Three times.
Finally, I looked up.
“One hundred thirty-seven thousand five hundred dollars.”
Nobody spoke.
My eyes went to Melissa.
Her designer purse was downstairs on Mom’s dining table.
The same purse she had spent ten minutes bragging about the day before.
And inside Mom’s birthday card was twenty dollars.
“You owe Mom $137,500?”
“No.”
I actually laughed.
“No?”
“That’s not what this is.”
“There are repayment dates beside every single amount.”
“Mom never expected me to repay everything.”
“How convenient.”
“It’s true.”
I turned toward Mom.
“Is she telling the truth?”
Mom sat beside me.
“Yes.”
That answer stopped me cold.
“What?”
“I never really expected Melissa to pay all of it back.”
I stared at the documents.
“Then why write everything down?”
Mom took the notebook from my hands.
“Because I needed to remember how much she had already received.”
“For what?”
She looked at me.
“For you.”
I couldn’t speak.
Mom turned several pages.
There was my name.
And beneath it?
Almost nothing.
“I don’t understand.”
Mom sighed.
“Melissa needed help sooner than you did. You didn’t. But that doesn’t mean one daughter should eventually receive more than the other.”
Melissa slowly sat beside the window.
Mom continued.
“Some of these began as loans. Melissa always told me she would pay me back once they were doing better.”
“But you never made her.”
“No.”
“Why?”
Mom looked genuinely confused by my question.
“Because eventually I didn’t need her to.”
“That’s not the point.”
“It is to me.”
She closed the folder.
“I have two daughters. Whatever I leave someday will ultimately be divided between both of you anyway. Melissa needed part of hers earlier, so I gave it to her earlier.”
I looked down at the notebook.
“Then why keep records?”
“So that when the time comes, what Melissa has already received can be taken into account. You would receive an equivalent amount first. Whatever remains after that gets divided between you.”
For several seconds, the only sound in the room was the hallway clock.
I had opened that drawer expecting proof that Melissa had taken advantage of Mom.
Instead, I had discovered that Mom had quietly been planning for both daughters all along.
“I don’t want $137,500,” I said.
Mom smiled gently.
“I know.”
“That isn’t why I’m angry.”
“I know that too.”
Then I looked at Melissa.
“Did you know?”
“Know what?”
“That Mom considers all this part of what you would eventually inherit?”
Melissa didn’t answer.
“Melissa.”
“Yes.”
My anger returned instantly.
“You knew?”
“Mom told me.”
“So you knew she had already given you more than a hundred thousand dollars. And yesterday, for her seventieth birthday, you handed her twenty dollars and joked that she didn’t need much?”
“Amanda, this isn’t about twenty dollars.”
“You’re right. It isn’t.”
Mom stood.
“Enough.”
“No, Mom.”
I turned toward her.
“How many times have you told me something was too expensive?”
“I never said I couldn’t afford anything.”
“You said it wasn’t worth spending the money.”
“Sometimes it wasn’t.”
“Your old car was falling apart before you finally replaced it.”
“It still ran.”
“You canceled the trip with your friends.”
“I didn’t care that much about going.”
“You always say that.”
Mom’s face changed.
She didn’t look angry.
She looked sad.
“Amanda, I chose what to do with my money.”
That silenced me.
“I wasn’t tricked,” she continued. “Melissa didn’t steal from me. I helped my daughter because I wanted to.”
Melissa looked up.
Mom continued.
“I was proud when they bought their first house. I was proud when the clinics became successful. I loved watching my grandchildren while Melissa worked. Don’t turn things I was happy to give into something ugly simply because you’re angry.”
I sat down.
She was right.
I wanted Mom to be angry because I was angry.
But those were two different things.
Still, there was one question I couldn’t let go.
I looked toward the scrapbook lying on the dresser.
“Then why did you hide Melissa’s birthday card under your plate yesterday?”
Mom froze.
Melissa turned toward her.
“Mom?”
Mom started putting documents back into the folder.
“It was nothing.”
“No,” I said gently. “That’s what you always say.”
She gave me a warning look.
I lowered my voice.
“Did what Melissa said hurt you?”
Mom didn’t answer.
Melissa stood.
“Mom, I was joking.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know that too.”
Mom closed the drawer.
Then she looked directly at Melissa.
“It wasn’t about the twenty dollars.”
Melissa visibly relaxed.
Mom noticed.
“Don’t look relieved.”
Melissa’s expression disappeared.
“You could have given me nothing,” Mom continued. “You could have written ‘Happy Birthday’ on a scrap of notebook paper and I would have loved it.”
“Then what did I do?”
Mom’s voice became quiet.
“You said, ‘At her age, she doesn’t need much.’”
Melissa stared at her.
“I was joking.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you upset?”
Mom took a long breath.
“Because I’m seventy, Melissa.”
She paused.
“I’m not finished.”
Nobody moved.
