A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The blonde wife picked up, listened for a moment, and said,
“How should I know? That’s 200 miles from here!”—then hung up.
Curious, the husband asked, “Who was that?”
She replied, “I have no idea. Some silly woman wanting to know ‘if the coast is clear.’”
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside diner for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they got back in the car and continued driving. About forty minutes later, the woman realized she had left her glasses on the diner table.
She told her husband, and reluctantly, they had to drive quite a distance before finding a place to turn around.
On the way back, the elderly husband became the picture of a grouchy old man—fussing, complaining, and scolding his wife nonstop. The more he griped, the more irritable he became, refusing to calm down for even a moment.
Finally, they arrived back at the diner. The woman hurried inside to get her glasses, and just as she was about to enter, the old man rolled down his window and called out, “While you’re in there, you might as well grab my hat and the credit card!”
Gemini said
An elderly couple was trekking across the country when the wife, who was behind the wheel, saw the flashing lights of a highway patrol car.
The officer approached the window and said, “Ma’am, do you realize you were speeding?”
Being hard of hearing, the woman turned to her husband. “What did he say?”
“He says you were speeding!” the husband shouted.
The officer sighed and tapped the door. “May I see your license, please?”
Again, she leaned toward her husband. “What did he say?”
“He wants to see your license!” he hollered back.
She handed it over, and the officer’s eyes lit up when he saw the address. “Ah, Arkansas,” he smirked. “I spent some time there once. I actually went on a blind date with the absolute ugliest woman I’ve ever seen in my life.”
The woman looked at her husband one last time. “What did he say?”
Without missing a beat, the husband yelled, “He says he knows you!”
